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Students with Asperger's can find a supportive campus

Morning Sentinel Staff

Dear Harlan,

I'm Aspergian and socially lost, and I'm not even in college yet. My friends (who I can count on one hand) are heading in different directions. Thankfully, my home literally is down the street from my college. I think with a completely different operating system than most people, and with perpendicular trains of thought, I'm almost never on the same page. I've read about college for some time, but still don't feel like I'll be attending. Is it just something I have to get through? Sorry this is long (like most of my thoughts), but I want to understand this transition, and what it may mean for me. I haven't been in any relationships yet while waiting for college, and am a little confused about how to go about on that front. I guess whoever said college is a "whole new world" wasn't lying. Should I seek out others like me, or should I try to set up an environment (like a club or activity) I find comfortable and let them find me?

Thoroughly and Totally Confused and Grateful (TaTCaG)

Dear TaTCaG,

Just to clarify to readers, "Aspergian" is a term for someone who has Asperger's syndrome, a disorder on the autism spectrum. As for your question, it's awesome that you understand the challenges you're facing. The self-awareness will make life so much more manageable for you in college. The good news is that schools are paying attention to students with Asperger's. Some are even catering to them. Before going to the school down the street, make sure you're attending a school that has a community that supports students with Asperger's.

There are institutions that are set up to specifically help support and transition students with Asperger's. For example, this summer, Mercyhurst College has a residential two-week program designed specifically for students with Asperger's syndrome and high-functioning autism. Some schools go as far as training professors to support students with Asperger's. Contact the Center for Students with Disabilities and find out what resources are available. If you can find a campus where you can be supported, you'll find a nurturing environment where you can make friends and thrive -- not just survive.

Dear Harlan,

I'm headed off to college on Aug. 18. As the date just keeps getting closer, I keep getting more and more freaked out. I'm assuming the pre-college worries and anxieties are completely normal, but is there a better way to handle them?

Anxious

Dear Anxious,

College is only the biggest transition of your entire life. It's normal to be anxious. Here are three things to relieve the stress. First, be extremely patient. Instead of giving yourself two weeks to create a life on campus, give yourself two semesters -- or two years. It takes time to find your place. Next, identify three places to find your place. Think of the things you loved to do in high school and let that guide you. Then research where, how and when you can get involved.

Finally, identify five people on or near campus you can turn to for help along the way before getting to campus. Make one a counselor in the counseling center, a residence-life professional, a professor, upperclassmen or mentor you met at orientation. Finally, appreciate that being nervous is normal. College is 90 percent amazing and 10 percent difficult -- plan for the 10 percent difficult by following my advice, and the tough stuff won't take up 100 percent of your time.

Harlan is the author of "The Happiest Kid On Campus: A Parent's Guide to the Very Best College Experience (for You and Your Child)" (Sourcebooks). Write Harlan at harlan@helpmeharlan.com or visit online: www.helpmeharlan.com. All letters submitted become property of the author. Send paper to Help Me, Harlan! 2506 N. Clark St., Ste. 223, Chicago, IL 60614.