April 28, 2013

Single guy wants more than friendship

Morning Sentinel Staff

Dear Harlan,

As a full-fledged member of the Getting Naked Experiment, I'm all about putting on my thongs and getting into more rooms. I've been on a few dates, some good, some terrible, which is to be expected. On my dates that are good, I've found that I'm just being myself, and the girls seem to genuinely like me; however, it seems that they're only interested in maintaining a friendship instead of a romantic relationship. Then, it finally, hit me: I'm great at being friends with women, but something about my approach just screams "I'm not boyfriend material, I'm friend material." What can I do to turn myself into the kind of person who gives off the vibe that I'm a nice guy who's interested in a relationship instead of someone who is just looking to be friends?

Too Many Girl Friends

Dear Too Many Girl Friends,

Women like you. They just aren't kissing you - yet. A few questions: Do you believe you are wildly attractive? Do you think you're very kissable? Do you make it clear that you're on a date before taking these women out on dates? If the answer is NO - put on your thongs and do some training. You have to believe you're attractive, plan on kissing these women and make it clear it's a date. As for friendly women, tell them, "We can be friends, but I'll probably ask to kiss you at some point." As for meeting women who want to date you and not befriend you, meet in a way that makes it VERY clear that you are going on a date. Meet via an online dating site. Get fixed up on a date by friends. When you ask women to go out, make it clear that it's a date -- a drink date, a walking date or a movie date. Don't call it "hanging out." Go on a date. Join the experiment at www.GettingNakedExperiment.com.

Dear Harlan,

I told my best guy friend that I had feelings for him one night when we were drinking. Then he kissed me. We talked about it "soberly" the next day, and he said this is the wrong time for a relationship. That was about a month ago. We still hang out every weekend. When he gets drunk, he puts his arms around me. He recently has invited me to go to his work party with him. I am so confused! His best friends think he likes me but is just scared to take that next step because he has never been in a relationship, or really anything, before. The other night he awkwardly asked me to dinner. I did not go. I need help! Should I grow a spine and step up the game, or what?

Super Confused

Dear Super Confused,

I'm super annoyed. I'm sorry to be annoyed, but I am. Tell him how you feel. If you can't talk while sober, you're in no place to hook up while drunk. If he doesn't want to date you, stop hanging out with him. Tell him that you can hang out with him only if he's interested in dating you.

Make sure you have other friends in case he doesn't want to date you. The way it is now, you'll never meet another guy if you're hanging out with him every weekend.

Write Harlan at harlan@helpmeharlan.com or visit online: www.helpmeharlan.com.

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