Maine news, sports, weather | Kennebec Journal, Augusta, Maine

Husband's texting obsession means more than friendship

Morning Sentinel Staff

Dear Annie: My 50-year-old husband and I have been married for 24 years. "Fred" is constantly texting a 35-year-old divorced woman he used to work with. He insists they are only friends who like to keep in touch. They start texting before 6 a.m. and continue until bedtime. Today, they exchanged 373 text messages. I don't know how either of them gets any work done.

We have had several conversations about the amount of contact he has with this former co-worker, but he just doesn't get it, which means it isn't going to stop anytime soon. Even our kids keep asking who Dad is texting all the time. I don't believe he has physically cheated on me, but I'm not sure how long this "friendship" can continue before it grows into a full-blown affair. Maybe if he were to see this in black-and-white, it would finally sink in that he's on dangerous ground. It may only be a midlife crisis, but it scares me, and I fear for our marriage. -- Having a Nervous Breakdown in Tennessee

Dear Tennessee: Have a heart-to-heart with Fred. Explain that the constant texting indicates that this relationship is more important to him than mere friendship, even if he doesn't recognize it yet. Tell him that a loving, caring, faithful husband would not continue to behave in a way that undermines his marriage and worries his wife. Tell him it's time to knock it off. If he cannot do this, or is unwilling, the next step is marriage counseling. Don't wait.

Dear Annie: Now that school is out, my 9-year-old daughter, "Emily," has been pestering me to shave her head. She asked me to do this last year, and I said, "Maybe next summer," thinking she'd forget. But she's been asking for months and keeps saying I "promised."

Annie, I shave my head because I started going bald a few years ago. My 13-year-old son shaves his head in the summer because it's cooler. "Emily" has beautiful long hair, and I'm reluctant to cut it. I'm mildly flattered that she wants to look like me, but I'm not sure I want a Mini-Me for a daughter.

When I asked her why she wants to shave her head, she said she wants to donate her hair to Locks of Love. She also told me she's curious to see what kids with cancer go through when they lose their hair.

Emily is a very intelligent girl and a wonderful child. While I'm proud of her for wanting to contribute to a worthwhile organization, I wouldn't know how to answer people when they ask why my daughter is bald. What do you think? Should my wife and I let our daughter shave her head? -- Father of Mini-Me

Dear Father: Yes. While we believe parents have the final say in such matters (and it's OK to say no), shaving one's head is relatively harmless and the hair will grow back. Because other members of her family do this, Emily doesn't find it embarrassing. Plus, she is donating her hair to a worthy cause. If others ask, that is the response you should give.